The road so far…

I am so slacking on keeping this up to date.

I am still engaged and madly in love with my fiance.  We have been living together for almost 6 months now and it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.  The other best decision was dating him in the first place.  I feel so much better now that I am not living with my father.  Not that living with my father and his wife was the worst thing in the world, trust me there are people who have it thousands of times worse than me, I had a place to rest my head at night.  But this place feels more like home. He feels more like home.  Like tonight, before I got out of bed and decided to type to all of you, I laid there watching him sleep and it just seemed like this, this is where I belong.  I mean we are not perfect, we do fight and push each others buttons, and when we push them too much we realize and correct the issue and we are never too proud to say “I’m sorry”.  We are still working out the quirks of our relationship.

We still have not set a date for the wedding.  First his plan was he wanted me to take and pass the MTEL test that I have mentioned in previous posts I have yet to pass, finish my degree and then we would start planning the wedding.  Now it seems like the plan is, if we haven’t had a wedding by my 26th birthday we are elope, and then have the big wedding later on so as to not upset our families.  The reason behind the elopement is that when we turn 26 we are kicked off our families insurance. The daycare doesn’t provide insurance and my retail job’s insurance is not great, however, his company has a good benefits package and I will be 26 before he will.

I am still working two jobs.  At the child care center that I work at I am per diem.  And for a while I was not getting very many hours.  But with more students being enrolled more eyes are needed on the children.  We have even been talking about expanding to allow more children, which will again require more hands on deck on a daily basis.  My boss really seems to enjoy having me on her team and has talked about me gaining some more hours, but with two other new teachers on staff she has to share the coverage.  And because of the fact that I am per diem and they can and have called me to come in later in the day I must have a second job so I have not been able to quit my retail job.  I however have told my retail job that I am not available to work on Saturdays (to which they were not happy and whined about) as that is my day to clean, do laundry, or simply sleep in and do nothing.

I am going to let you go and curl back up with the man I love.


Six months of changes

In the last six months i have gotten engaged, temporarily left college, got a job in my field, blew up a car, replaced my car, and finally moved out.

I got engaged!!!!!  He took me back to where we had our first date, where we hadn’t gone to since our first date.  To the exact same spot where we had that first picnic date.  We had our sandwiches and watched the geese and ducks in the pond/lake.  He did the whole get down on one knee thing and asked.  And of course i said yes.  I am in love with the man and the ring(even though I have had it altered a little to better protect the stone).  No date yet.  But not in a huge rush to do so.

So, I am not in college right now.  After 5 years in college I have to take some time off before I can finish.  If you are aware both Texas and Massachusetts require that all future teachers pass a series of multiple choice/short answer standardized tests to prove that you are a competent teacher(because everyone is good at taking tests).  Well I had one last test that I haven’t passed.  I took the test twice during this summer, the first time I was nine points from meeting the requirement to pass.  So as soon as I saw I was nine points from passing, I quickly re-scheduled the test.  Mind you it cost each time you take this test.  On try number 4 I missed it by ONE LOUSY POINT.  And I have not rescheduled it again.  And until I take and pass this last test I can not take the last remaining courses.

Because of the fact that I am not currently in school I told Walmart that I work at that I want full time(last summer I put in that I wanted to be a full time associate and they never actually put me in as full time, but was giving me the hours as if I was.) because of the fact that I am not in school.  Well Walmart being Walmart was giving me hours but not what I was wanting for hours usually just under 30 hours a week. One of my new family friends told me that her friend had a day care and could use some help, so I got the phone number from her and called and had an interview a week later and two weeks after that I was in the classroom and I LOVE IT.  I love the staff I am working with and I love the children I get to play with.

So i got a new to me but still old car back in April.  During the summer I realized that the A/C and heater wasn’t working right but I wasn’t concerned I had power windows and I didn’t really need heat right then and there.  As fall came I informed my dad and brother that I was going to need to bring the car in for the heat issue.  They looked at it and said they thought it was just a bad temp gage and that she was low on coolant.  Well one day the car became sputter-y so into the shop it went.  Come to find out I had a blown head gasket.  So they told me to just keep dumping water and coolant in until you can replace it engine or find some one who could replace the blown gasket for a reasonable price.  While I was looking for cars and engines I drove the car, jug of water on days where it wasn’t got to be super cold out and coolant on the other days.  Well the Saturday before Turkey day the car finally gave up.  On the highway.  On my way to work.  So I called a few garages since I knew of a motor that might hold me over until I could do something else.  No one could get me in anytime soon or did not have the equipment.  While I was doing that search it came to my attention that the rockers were rotting.  So, my best option was to sell my car for scrap and buy another car.  I was able to donate my car to Kars4kids and I am leasing a 2016 Kia Forte.

Last week.  The week before Christmas I moved out of my fathers house and into an apartment with my fiance.  We are still in the process of settling into out new home.  Now that the holidays are behind us we can try and get more settled.

Two years ago…

Two years ago today, It was one of the best and worse days of my life.  Today was the day my then boyfriend stood me up for the last time.  It was the last day I got to work with my best friend.  But it was also the first time I was able to let him in on what was really going on in my life with my relationship.  I had kept him out of knowing what was going on because I knew he liked me and I was having some feelings for him.  I did not want him to feel like he was the one pushing the boyfriend and I away.  Two years ago today he finally saw a glimpse of my pain.  He had known that the boyfriend and I had plans to hang out and when the two of us took our meal breaks he could see it on my face that I was not okay.  I told him I would talk about it later (Because I did not want some of the other people at work to really be in on my business and I had a feeling that when I opened up down the flood gates would go)  After I got out of work that day I figured both my best friend and I needed to go for a ride, since he lost his job over an irate customer and I had just had a bad day.  So I picked him up and I drove.  I don’t even remember where we ended up but we just drove and talked.  He told me about getting fired and I talked about how I was unhappy in my relationship because at that point I knew that it was over.  We then turned around and went back and just hung out at his house we watched a few movies and I got to cuddle with one of his cats.  I did not hear from the ex all night or even the next day, at least until I had him call me after work to break up.

Another very good friend and co-worker of mine did know what was going on between the boyfriend and I because he just sensed that I was not my usual self one night.  It just happens that two years ago today I was working with this good friend of mine and from the start of our shift he knew I was upset.  He saw the hurt when the boyfriend came over and talked to him and basically ignored me and what he had done.  This friend saw me brush off the hurt when the boyfriend finally came by to say he overslept.  My friend also took the broomstick I was using to get all the stuff out from under the shelves away because he did not want me to use it on the boyfriend, even though I had promised I wouldn’t hit him with it (There are far better things I could hit the boyfriend with).

As of today, i have a boyfriend that i love,  my best friend has a full time job that he loves and he has me to call his girlfriend.  The ex and I are starting to have a civil relationship, as in when he sees me he will at least say hi and we can carry a conversation instead of him just glaring at me.

kiss me beneath the milky twilight Lead me out on the moonlit floor Lift your open hand Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance Silver moon’s sparkling

Men and women in relationships,

No matter how long you have been together treat each other as if you just started dating each other.

Send each other good morning and good night messages if you don’t live together, or depending on your relationship send it even if you do live together.

Give each other gifts just because you can, even if it is just a dessert the other likes or some flowers you happen to see out of the corner of your eye.  We care more about the fact that you thought of us then what you get us.

Write love notes.  Remind them why you fell in love with them and how crazy you still are for them.

Go on dates just because.  Not because you feel like you have to because it is a birthday or anniversary or holiday, go just to have that one on one connection with each other.

Have a cuddle day where you don’t make any plans but to have a relaxing day doing nothing, watch old favorite movies and cuddle.

Do something you both love, or something you both want to try, even if neither of you is great at it, have fun.

I hope he buys you flowers I hope he holds your hand Give you all his hours When he has the chance Take you to every party ‘Cause I remember how much you loved to dance Do all the things I should have done When I was your man

So I haven’t published anything in a while.  However a lot has happened since.  Valentines day came and went, Had a very interesting week that started with my ex’s girlfriend messaging me. And the boyfriend leaving college.

So lets start with Valentines day.  Even though I have had significant others for nearly a decade (Holy crap I have been dating for almost a decade! 0.o) I find the “holiday” to be superficial.  I don’t need a day to tell those I love that they are special to me.  However I did do up something for the boyfriend, two of our best friends and for his sister.  We had a stay in date at his parents house when he got out of work.  I dressed up a little because why not.  I made him fresh cookies that morning and made him chocolate covered bananas(Which I do not recommend doing in any larger batches than half of a banana at a time because they thaw too fast.  Tossed first batch because the bananas went bad did half batch next time and throw back into freezer as soon as dipped) and he also got a Little Critter book because we both grew up reading the books and I am an Early Childhood Educator.  He got me Cool Ranch Doritos peanut M&Ms and with his mothers help made me a delicious spiral ham with her recipe glaze.  Everyone else got homemade candy mustaches, lips and heart-shaped lollipops.

Last week shortly after waking up I checked my facebook page as I normally do and noticed I have a facebook message, so I check it out it is the girl who is dating my ex and it simply says “Hi.” so I reply back with a ‘hi’, after a few minutes of nothing I ask ‘what’s up?’  She replies that he broke up with her and wanted to know what caused me to break up with him because she is having doubts that what he told her may not in fact be true, so I told her what I tell anyone who asks me what happened between the two of us who doesn’t really know us, ‘I wasn’t happy, he did not make me happy, he made some promises that he never kept’.  Apparently he was not happy with their relationship moved out and back to his aunts and shut off her phone when he did.  So being the person I am I told her that I was sorry it didn’t work out and that I am always here if she needs to talk because I dated him for 5.5 years, I kind of know him.  We then spent the next few hours chatting about him and things he has done, mostly her venting.  A few days later I get a text from HIM asking if I have been talking to her, because she told him that I had been telling her things.  Mind you he and I have not said a word in 2 years.  He had taken some of her stuff when he moved out and was giving her a hard time giving it back to her.  So she was trying to hurt him.  The best part is she did not really have any good dirt on him from me.  I however have a bunch of dirt from her about him.  The only thing I told her was that for the last few years he forgot to get me a present for my birthday/anniversary.  Which I told him I told her.  He ended up apologizing for that and how our relationship was and saying that he learned from our break-up. He and I ended talking for another couple of hours talking about our jobs and his aunt who is very sick.  He asked me how my current boyfriend and I are(Who the ex swears I was dating when I was still with the ex), I was like, we are good.  He then asked “Does he remember things?”  to which I chuckled a little, I was like yah, for the most part, has a hard time with remembering my whole family(It is a very big family),  to which the ex replied does he at least remember the important stuff?, I was like yah.  And to be honest it was very nice to talk to him for once, even if it was probably just to see what his ex girlfriends have been telling each other.

So, my boyfriend is leaving college, in fact he has already withdrawn from the college.  To start working doing what he was going to school to learn to do, full-time.  A company had an opening near here and the boyfriend wanting to get out of school and start actually working doing what he loves applied.  He had his first interview the middle of the week and they told him they would let him know by the end of the week if he  will be meeting with the boss via video chat for a second interview.  Not even a few hours later he got a phone call asking if he could come back in a couple of days for that interview.  about an hour or two after his second interview he got the call that they wanted him.

Now comes the next chapter in our lives.  Maybe some time before too long I may be moving out of my parent’s house and out on my own, well out and in with the boyfriend.

Every Other Weekend

So my parents split when I was a few months old.  My mother met her first husband on my first birthday.  He was a friend of the downstairs neighbor and he read a story to me and my two brothers.  they married about seven months later.  My step father raised us as if the three of us as if we were his own.

My father met his wife right around the time I was born.  He had met her at a community college that they were both going to.  They married about 4 years later.  I gained 3 step brothers that day.  Instead of the traditional bride and groom feeding each other cake they decided that they would feed the others children the cake because all eight of us were becoming a family.  Tragedy struck a few years later when the oldest of us children, My step brother Winter, passed away.

Myself and my two brothers would spend every other weekend with one parent.  Dad would pick myself and one of my brother up on a Friday when he got out of work and would bring us to his house for the weekend.  My step brothers spent every two weekends at their father’s, so dad only had all 6 children once a month. We would spend Friday night until Sunday afternoon at his house and then he would drive us back to moms where my brother and I lived.  On the opposite weekend my oldest brother would come over to moms and he would stay there until Sunday.

Also the three of us would take turns going out to dinner with my dad’s mother and step father.  Gram would pick one of us up after school and we could got to what ever restaurant we wanted and then we would go grocery shopping and we could pick out something to buy then they would bring us home or to the other parents house.

Only 3 holidays mattered in our families.  Easter, thanksgiving and Christmas.  We would get to have both holidays with both parents, just not at the same time.  We would spend the Eve of the holiday with one parent, wake up celebrate with them, have lunch then we would go over to the other parents house and celebrate again.  We would also go celebrate with my stepfather’s parents either Christmas Eve or the day after as well as with Easter.

My mother and her first husband split around my 11th birthday.  Unfortunately there was too much stress(some of it brought on by my dear old dad).  She met my current step father around my 13th birthday they married shortly before my 19th birthday. I gained another step brother and a step sister.

I am the youngest of all the children with in both families.

We go back to our first day, Our first kiss

So, if I have never said this before I love the old-school romance ideals.  Which made the first date with my boyfriend that much better.  We went on a picnic at a local park.  We met up at his house after I got out of class where he was finishing preparing for the date.  We went to his room to search for something to sit on and ended up in a good long hug.  As we were releasing from the hug I went in for a kiss(Yes, I kissed him first.  Which ruined his plans to kiss me during the date).  So we drove to the park, which I had never been to.  they have a small flower garden and small lake and even a gazebo.  Basically an amazing place to go to take pictures.  We walked to this little secluded spot on a rock looking out at the water.  We ate sandwiches and chips and drank Virgil’s Root Beer. We talked and listened to music on our phones cuddled up next to each other because it was a little chilly and just had an all together good time.   And of course we obviously kissed a little.  The thing that topped the whole time off was hearing some other people around our age going “AWWWW how cute”.  We ended up getting too chilly and went back to his house where a bunch of his family was there.

Our next date was about a week or so later.  He did not tell me any of the details, just to come over after work.  So I did dressed in all my amazing work garb, hair a little frizzy and up in a messy bun.  When I arrived he was just finishing setting everything.  He had gone out and bought me peach colored roses and made me homemade Macaroni and cheese we sat out in his back yard had dinner listened to love songs talked and enjoyed ourselves.  When we were all done with dinner, and let me tell you I am not a huge fan of homemade mac and cheese(or really any non boxed mac and cheeses), but I LOVE his mac and cheese. We cleaned up and went over and made a small bonfire ate s’mores listened to more love songs, and we danced.  We danced to a song he had sent me back when we were friends by a band named A Rocket to the Moon.  When one again we became too chilly to be outside we went in and curled up together and watched the notebook, and I fell asleep in his arms.  He woke me up when it was over and I went to the dorm, and just laid there in bed unable to fall back asleep from a perfect night.